Last week sucked, no other way of putting it. It is Sunday,
the start of a new week and I hope it is better. Late last week I received
multiple messages on Facebook dealing with the loss of a member of my gaming
club. As he was younger than I, I was shocked and surprised, more so when I
found out he took his own life. I cannot judge him for this action but I was sorry,
as his loss will be felt from the community.
Last night we pieced together the puzzle last night over
beers and sushi it was like the conclusion of an Agatha Christie mystery. Looking
for clues and reason. Many members of the club had a few small pieces not enough
to complete the full picture, but a glimpse. There was a comment here, a
message; some strange nothing so out of character. But there were questions of
what we could and should do. No one had any real answers.
What I learned was that many of the people we call friends
we do not know as well as we could or should. It is important to take the time
to get to know people better. When we asking someone how are they doing, listen
to the answer and if asked, fine is sometime not the right answer. Other times
we may need silence but if the quiet goes on for too long, that is not good
either.
I have been touched by suicide on several occasions and it
shocks me how common this really is, if we look. Take the time to get to know
your friends and mates. They may be in need of a friend.
Good bye Al, you are missed.
Such a tragedy. Sorry to read of the loss of your gaming comrade and friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jonathan. When we get to a certain age we know we will lose friends, but we hope not in this way. We all have to be aware that we have friends that could be hurting.
ReplyDeleteSo true. The advice in your post should be well heeded and acted on by all.
DeleteI am so sorry to learn this, Jon, and I thank you for putting this difficult subject into words. Suicide is something that we deal with a lot in the militaries, and while we try hard to see warning signs and develop strategies, sometimes it is mysterious and the temptation for those who knew the person is to dwell on what they might have done.
ReplyDeleteI was reading a piece recently on how men, and particularly middle aged men, do worse than women at making friendships that sustain their mental health and self esteem. Last weekend I was at a wargames event where I had lots of opportunity to think about this, how many of the men (and they were overwhelmingly men) are friends and acquaintances, and how, I hope, are sustained in life by their hobby friendships. At the same time, I think there are some who find solace in wargaming do so because the find the real world challenging, and do not have robust social skills sets. This makes it all the more important, I think, that we be good friends to others in the hobby, that we care about them and reach out to them. I think the blogging community is particularly good about that.
Sorry again for your friend's loss.
Thank you Michael. I see this is a problem we have in our niche hobby. We need to look out for each other.
DeleteI need to get through this week but once I am done with this stage I will be looking to do more for people just like Al.